Sometimes in life you hit a wall where you are plunged into darkness and have to struggle to find the light. I think it was about six years ago I hit my wall and it was called panic attacks. Not an experience I would wish on anyone, not even my worst enemy. It feels like you are going to die, that your heart is going to give out and I thought that something was seriously wrong with me.
When you are ill shoes from Prada, clothes from Ralph Lauren and trinkets from Lalique mean nothing. The only thing that you want is to be well again. You take a hard look on your life and evaluate what is important and not. My conclusion was that two things took precedence over everything else; to find someone to love and to be a published writer.
Five years ago on this exact date I met someone who blew my mind. I felt that I had found what I was looking for and instantly forgot that it takes two to tango.
Because I didn't blow his mind.
Life has a tendency to throw you curve balls and how you deal with them is entirely individual. I try to live by the principle that when you land on your arse the only thing you can do is to stand up, dust yourself off and keep on moving.
I wouldn't say that I today am demon free but I'm a published writer and I'm loved.
And, dear God help me, I still want more .....